


Kiss Me Until I Can Feel It

by wordsandshit



Series: One Big Family Verse [1]
Category: Avengers, Thor - Fandom
Genre: Death, M/M, Sacrafice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 13:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsandshit/pseuds/wordsandshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You must remember this<br/>A kiss is still a kiss<br/>A sigh is still (just) a sigh<br/>The fundamental things apply<br/>As time goes by</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me Until I Can Feel It

**Author's Note:**

> We see the various kisses in Loki's life, from the beginning of it to the end.
> 
> (More explanation of the universe at the end.)

When Thor was a child he’d laugh and chase Sif, stealing kisses. On a bet when he was twelve he scooped her up in his arms and full on kissed her, with tongue as the dare demanded. When they were fourteen under the tree of golden apples they took each other's virginities.

When Loki was a child he kept to himself since Thor’s friends had never really liked him. When twelve he finally mastered magic after dutifully studying all his life. When he was fourteen he was beat up under the tree of golden apples because of a trick he’d played. Loki had never been kissed, never wanted to be.

But still, the gesture would have been nice. Just to know that someone cared enough to do it. No one thought of him that way though and no one ever would, at least not in Asgard. He would always be Thor’s baby brother. And he never wanted something so stupid and trivial as a simple kiss. He’d told himself that so many times that it must be true, right?

So when Thor kissed him, it really shouldn’t have meant anything. Thor hugs and kisses everyone, he’s friendly like that. But even with Thor he’d never been kissed like this, never so full on, never so deeply. So despite how stupid it was and how pathetic he felt, it meant something.

Everyone cheered on midnight and the new year, something Loki still didn’t fully understand. Then Thor pulled him close into his embrace and kissed him. Just a kiss and just a hug, nothing much different than everyday. Except it’s full on the lips and not just a peck.

Thor kept his burning lips there for what seemed like a lifetime, but in reality was all too short seconds. Just that simple press of bodies sent Loki’s mind away and his heart thundering. He griped onto Thor’s ill fitting dress shirt and just melted in his strong arms. Under his palms his muscles flexed and unflexed, burning in this mortal form. He did this often, just rippling with the sheer power of himself, all in cruel attempt to drive him crazy. It worked every time.

Loki let out an audible moan which happens in an awkwardly silent moment so everyone hears. Thor pulled away and smiles wide, big blue eyes bright. And for a moment Loki almost tells him I love you, almost believes he could ever feel the same.

But apparently Thor didn’t hear the moan because he just gave Loki another kiss on the tip of his nose. “Happy New Earth Year little brother.”

He felt his whole body sink, not caring who saw. “Happy New Year Thor.”

He mumbled about getting a drink and slipped away from the larger man, sitting at the temporary bar that Stark had moved in for the occasion. He poured himself a tall glass of Vodka, taking a large sip. He managed to hold back the coughing and dying, but it was hard. After that he just nursed the glass, but by the end of the party it was empty and he was drunk off his ass.

\--

The next kiss happened again at a party, which seemed to be in abundance around these people. This time it was at their local pub, which Loki didn’t like very much at all. In fact he hated it there, but Thor had begged him to go since they were celebrating. Loki didn’t know what, but he’d promised to pay attention to him so he agreed.

It was fine the first hour. Thor was being very good at talking to him and not ignoring him for his friends which he often did. But then he got a call on the stupid contraption Stark had set up on him and excused himself to go to the back alley to talk.

He was out there for a half an hour before Loki finally got tired and marched to the back to yell at Thor to come back and talk to him. He was about to slam the door open which was being held slightly ajar by an empty beer bottle, but froze when he heard his brother’s tone.

“P-please! I can come visit if you like....No there is no one else....Well that’s insane and not true!....But....Fine.” he hung up and leaned against the wall sighing.

Loki watched him, wondering what all that was about, wanting to go and comfort his brother, but he also didn’t want him to know he’d been spying. He was leaning against the steel door, so when Thor quickly straightened and opened the door it knocked him onto his ass. Thor then promptly tripped on the smaller man and fell flush on him.

After the initial shock of being fallen on and cracking his head off the hard concrete floor, Loki became all too aware that not only had Thor fallen right on top of him, his large dick pressed into his stomach, but their lips were together.

This was much different from the first time, this was harder, more painful and Loki’s lips slightly parted, an invitation to the blond man. He didn’t take it, but he didn’t move either. He just lay perfectly still on him. The younger man drew bored, body sore.

He tried to wriggle out from beneath Thor, but was stopped by his low voice, “Stop.”

He did as he was told, looking curiously up at him, green eyes intent. Thor looked pained, lips moving silently. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

He shook his head. His long blond hair acted like a curtain so Loki could only see him, tickling his cheeks and neck. It was then that he realised the hard lump that pressed into his stomach was harder and larger.

Loki blushed deep and suddenly felt electrified. The friction of him wiggling free must have rubbed against Thor and spurred on this new erection. This had happened many times before. As children they often wrestled or even just cuddled and little boy penises are easily excited. Normally they’d just stop whatever they were doing and wait for it to go away to begin again. But Thor wasn’t moving and the dark haired man wondered if he ever would.

“Thor, it’s okay. Just get off me.” He still didn’t move. “Just enough for me to get up from under you, yeah?” Nothing. Loki was getting frustrated, his head was killing him and Thor was very heavy. “Please.”

Finally the older man rolled off, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe he’d hit his head too. Loki sat up, turning so he could lean against the cool wall. After a bit Thor did the same, staring at his brother.

\--

The third kiss happened when Loki was in an even less preferable position. Tied up and just being saved from mortal danger. He had been kidnapped in a hope to get to Thor. It had worked, but not to his captor’s favour.

After battle Thor was always steaming with adrenaline and power and was rather randy. He marched over to the tied up Loki, yanked out the gag and kissed him hard, gripping at his hair.

This time it wasn’t a press of the lips, it was being consumed. His mouth was burning hot, tongue breaking the seal of his dry lips and taking what it wanted. Which amazingly was Loki.

He was too shocked to move at first, but soon he warmed to the kiss and dueled along with Thor’s tongue. It was a losing battle though, the larger man conquered until there was no doubt that Loki was his.

When he pulled away they were both panting and Thor held the same look of deep longing that he felt. Loki strained against his bindings, wanting to hold and touch him. He’d waited so long for this and now he had exactly what he’d desired since he was a child and he couldn’t even move.

Thor grinned cheekily, like he might not untie him, but he was too nice and did. Loki launched himself at the older man and kissed him again, arms around his neck. He reciprocated and cupped his narrow hips. Loki licked and nipped and touched and was amazed when Thor did nothing to stop him, didn’t even complain.

Thor tasted like battle, like sweat and blood and grime. The hint of that was always there, just a part of him, but now it was the deep musky taste took over his normally sweeter taste. Loki tasted cool like the coming winter, with the hint of smoke. Neither could help but wonder what the other tasted like elsewhere.

Steve awkwardly cleared his throat and said something about having gotten all the enemies but really neither man was listening. They were just holding eachother and smiling, happy to finally be what they were always meant be. For now, the rest could wait.

Thor nodded and let go of Loki, leaving a cold empty feeling, but took his hand and lead the way back home. Amazingly that stupid house attached to the people who’d try to kill him was home. The small place with all its people was the only place he felt like he belonged, felt wanted.

\--

Loki stared down at the bomb he held in his hands and took a shaky breath. His instructions ran through his mind on loop as he tried to find a way out. There was none. His fate was sealed, they’d made sure of that.

If you leave the room, they die. If the bomb leaves the room, they die. If you use magic, they die. You have half an hour before the bomb explodes and if you successfully die, they live.

He wondered idly what had happened to him. These were the people that not too long ago he wanted to kill painfully, now he was giving his life for them. But really the answer was pretty easy. Thor had happened to him.

He didn’t hate the Avengers anymore, but he still never really got on with any of them. Abbey was alright most of the time and Jarvis...well everyone loves Jarvis. The only reason he gave a shit about them was Thor and that’s the only reason they gave a shit about him either. Loki was sure that it would be difficult, but that he could get out of this with both him and Thor safe, but all of them was impossible. And Thor could never live with that. That’s the good thing about being a bad guy for a while, he learned that there’s never a clean way to get what you want.

He was startled out of his thoughts and almost out of the bomb he held. He spun around angrily to find Thor, who was just staring at him like he didn’t understand. Loki quickly managed to place the bomb on the table in the room -accompanied by a chair, it was the only furniture in the room- before he was crushed by one of Thor’s hugs.

“I guess Steven told you what was happening, like I told him not to.” he managed.

“You can not do this Loki, this is madness.” Thor pulled away enough to looked the younger man in the eyes, his already filled with tears.

Loki’s were dry, he was content with his fate. “I am willing to die for you. If I don’t die, you die. They all die.”

“We can take whoever has done this, we-”

“No you can’t!...I’m not risking it.”

“Then I am staying with you.”

“No you’re not. This is all for you, it’s pointless if you stay and die too.”

Thor leaned down and kissed him hard, pulling his raven black hair in his frustration. Loki had become so accustomed to feeling of his larger, warmer lips, the burn of his stumble of his cheeks, the feel of his hard body and utter strength. It was second nature now, but it still set him alight every time. He was sure one of the sparks flying off this kiss must start the bomb.

There was a beep that told him he had fifteen minutes left, so he pulled away. He’d be happy to die in that kiss, but not the other half. “Leave, for me.”

“I will not leave you die alone Loki!”

Seeing that look of desperation on his lover’s face the tears came, but he smiled. “Common Thor, I’ve been alone almost all my life. It’s what I know best.”

He shook his head, “I can’t...I love you. I can’t leave you.”

“And I love you. Which is why you must leave, for me. I can’t bear to lose you, you must live on. These people, these humans, they need you, they need their warrior.”

“I don’t care! I love you and I refuse to leave you to...to die!”

“Well too fucking bad. You can’t stay. Please!”

The larger man squeezed him tight in a hug, kissing him again. Loki leaned into the kiss, let it take him over, let Thor relax. The tears were free-falling now, the salty water mixing into the mingling of their tastes. The bomb beeped ten minutes and Thor kissed him harder.

Rogers and Stark walked in solemnly and each took an arm of the large God. Thor wouldn’t let Loki or the kiss go, but eventually they did get him off, ripping their swollen lips apart. Thor struggled and roared, but the other men had the upper hand and if need be they would bring in Banner.

“No! Loki please! Let go of me you- Gods damn it! Let go!”

“I love you Thor.”

He stopped struggling for a moment and stared at the dark haired man. “I love you too.”

Five minutes beeped and they started pulling with more force, getting him out of the room. Loki returned his attention back to the bomb and wiped his tears. The time all too slowly clicked by and Loki licked his dry lips, still tasting his lover.

Thor roared like a caged Lion when the house was demolished and broke free easily to run to it. He pulled up the rubble until he found Loki’s even colder than usual body. His Godly form had saved him from being blown to particles, but couldn’t save him from death. Thor shook him, tears shaking and falling on his pale face. Even in death a hint of that smirk he always held played at his lips.

“Loki! Loki! Please! Loki...” The sobbing took over and held the smaller man in his arms. He kissed him hard, over and over hoping it would wake him up. That this sick joke could end. Nothing happened and the tears fell harder and Thor just went into incoherently yelling.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be part of my One Big Family Verse where Loki has been integrated into the Avengers (mostly). There will be other works later on in this universe of my creation. 
> 
> This was written a while back when I was in my choosing a theme and showing different scene of two character's lives through that phase. It's also only been edited by myself, so sorry if it's not very good in that respect.


End file.
